Why Is Your Site Not Ranking? The Reason (in Rhyme)

So you want your site
To rank up high
We have quite a job
I’ll tell you why

When we search for your keyword
Your site does view
Way down on the list
Rank three hundred and two

Your homepage has five versions
.html, .php
/index, /default
And the original, you see

Your links are all Java
Your navigation’s in Flash
Google has just one page of yours
Stored in its cache

Your title and description tags
Are all the same
The only keyword that refers surfers
Is your name

URLs are dynamic
Lots of errors in your code
Your homepage takes
Two minutes to load

Half your site content
Is password protected
Including “Terms of Use” –
Plagiarism, you suspected?

Your PageRank is zero
Backlinks twenty-one
But eleven from link farms
Ten from the blog of your son

Bumping your site up
Won’t be easy
And rapid acceleration
Can make one queasy

But hold on tight
And we’ll give it a go
Search Engine Overhaul
That’s SEO

September 2nd, 2009 by aviva b
Posted in SEO
9 Comments »

9 Responses

  1. Gidon on Says:

    fantastic!

  2. Charlie Kalech on Says:

    Amazing – This will definitely go viral

  3. A Soldier's Mother on Says:

    Debi, this is adorable. Really, really great.

  4. Joshua Klein on Says:

    G R E A T !!!

  5. aviva b on Says:

    @Gidon, Charlie, A SOldier’s Mother:
    Thanks so much for the feedback! It’s nice to know when people enjoy.
    @Charlie – you’re welcome to start it off. I’ve heard it’s not such good form to viral-push your own work. :)

  6. Charlie Kalech on Says:

    Posted it on Twittr and Facebook, got a couple of retweets

    Here are the bitly stats http://bit.ly/info/18HzO9

  7. Mark Kestenbaum on Says:

    Amazing!

  8. Aviva B on Says:

    @Mark, Joshua – Thanks! Glad you enjoyed.

    @Charlie – thanks for passing it on,

  9. Shlomit Halevi on Says:

    Debi, this is great, you should add video to this with examples :-)

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